So i have this problem where i know exactly what i want. Well, this isn't really the problem - the problem lies in the fact that the reason i know exactly what i want is because i have created it in my head which in turn makes reality a little unsatisfactory and not terribly obtainable. (Please note: this is a materially shallow post). This has happened with watches, boots, dresses, swimsuits, and so forth. I remember once i wanted a kelly green raincoat - one of those classic vinyl raincoat that was well fitted, mid-thigh, and fully lined with red flannel on the inside; that's just how i saw it. Well i never found this raincoat so needless to say, i never got a raincoat. My mother can attest to this personal characteristic and does actually, on a continual basis. But the thing is, if i don't end up getting the item of desire, it's fine. i move on without much problem to the next item of fabrication. A wedding dress, on the other hand, isn't so easily disregarded. I mean, you have to have one. However, i do have the option now of throwing some ideas out and having the dress made. Retribution for all the items that were never materialized, sitting on the mental shelves labeled "didn't quite make it." Yet even when you think you have a clear idea on how great something can be, or how badly you want it, once you get close enough, you realize somethings are better left imagined. Sort of like this story:
So Whitney and I went here after our program ended in Northern Thailand
We met my friend Ryan down there and basked in the awesomeness Ko Phi Phi had to offer. While sitting on the beach, we noticed a little island a short ways out that seemed to posses an unadulterated beach that we felt inclined to adulterate (so maybe we had just finished watching The Beach and were feeling slightly idealistic..). As we took off, I was feeling a little nauseous but trudged on like the champ i am. After swimming for what seemed like hours (John is the swimmer of the two of us, well and the successful one and i'm everything else) and swallowing copious amounts of salt water, our secluded beach was finally in reach. Once we arrived, i immediately threw up and then stepped on something and cut my foot. then we realized that the beach sucked compared to where we were and that it wasn't an island at all, we just couldn't see that it was actually connected. So we walked back home cursing the beach. Sometimes it's best to just keep things in your head where you know they will stay perfect, sort of like a well-imagined wedding dress.